I have always gave myself timelines to do things. Most of them I have accomplished. I said I wanted a tattoo or tongue piercing by thirty. I got a tattoo at twenty-six. I said .I wanted to be married by thirty. I got married less than two months after my thirtieth birthday. When I was thirty-five I told my mom I wanted to have another baby before I turned forty, and that's where this story begins!
Life happened in a strange way. I decided to get a divorce, and move to Alabama to die. Yes I said DIE. I was tired with this thing called life and dealing with the people in it. I learned that people only care about you as long as you can do something for them. Being ill and them putting a death sentence on you without a diagnosis was enough in itself. I found peace with my decision and packed up my life and moved.
There are pieces that won't make it to this post because it's not important at this moment. This moment is dedicated to this little girl who would not let me die. She stayed with me during the week while her dad, who happens to my best friend in the whole world, completed his studies. She would wake up and want her breakfast. I would fix it and go lay down. She would come in there and just stare at me. Then she would whine a little and I would get up and we would stare ate each other. Then she would grab my hand and lead me to the kitchen. She wanted me to sit with her while she ate.
Then I would go back to lay down,but she wanted to ride her bike.
The basis of this is she needed me and I needed her! Her story started out like mine, but I refuse to let it be mine. My Aunt and Uncle had me at three days old. Her father had her at five days old. Her egg donor wanted the dad and not the child. She had to share everyone else's mother when all she wanted was her own. I know that feeling and I was not about to let her live that.
We met when she was two and I was Thirty-seven. I am now forty-four and she will be nine tomorrow. She is my child. Her egg donor came for me one day, and if you know me, you know that didn't come out well in her favor.
I have been there for ever first day of school,every lost tooth, I potty trained, I watched her become a fashionista, and I have watched Frozen and RIO nine hundred and ninety nine million times!
I can't go more than two hours without her.
She has taught me how to forgive and move on. Thank you Harmoni for bringing balance into my life. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom. I love you with everything in me!
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