I'm Juzz Sayin

December 27,1999, everyone was preparing for y2k. I was fighting for my life. I had just turned 26 years old, I was the mother of 4 small children and living in a stressful situation was an understatement. The devil told me I was going to die that day, I got at 5:30 checked on my kids and unlocked my front door. I called Patricia Redick​ who came over and I felt me slipping away. The EMT said its the flu, take some Tylenol you will be fine. I insisted on going to the hospital.Since I had no insurance they didn't want to be bothered. Bishop Frazier got out of his bed and took me. I had a temperature of 105 when I got to the ER.I remember wanting to die that day. I had nothing else. Then I saw how my children would feel without their mother because I was forced to remember how I felt without mine. I saw the faces of those gone before me and though it was peaceful, I had to return cause as the spirit said,It was not my time. The next day the sent a priest in to read me my last rites

Once of my favorite songs is Ledisi's "Pieces of Me". That song describes me to the T! It says so much about how I feel on a daily basis. I have learned how to cover my true feelings for the sake of others, and  I am a master at laughing to keep from crying.  I have a bad habit of compromising my own happiness for the sake of others. It's funny how I can be strong for everyone else but me. I'm too busy worried about hurting someone's feelings. I realize now I can't really help that because these things were instilled in me at a very young age. When someone said "aww she's so pretty", my aunt would say "no she aint"! Although I love her to the depths of my soul, she was mean as hell to me growing up. I will share that another day. Today I'm just preparing you for what's to come. My life was like the Color Purple, "You bet not tell nobody but God". To endure all the things that were inflicted upon me was like

In order to appreciate real love, you must first know what love is. Self love is your first introduction. Many of us were not blessed to have loving parents so we have to love ourselves the way we want others to love us............ ~Camela Joyce

Having an Idea is like being pregnant, you conceive it,you nurture it ,you feed it, then once you have everything in place you give birth ........... ~Camela Joyce

Unless your in a parking garage, stop looking for validation. Did you not realize this morning when air filled your lungs,you were validated? Everyday that you rise and your still on this side, God has validated you! ~Camela Joyce

                                      I just looked at the date and realized I should have launched this blog yesterday. November 19 has held some memorable events for me. At age 9 I was baptized, age 13 I got saved, age 19 I tried again. Although those are all very memorable moments, the biggest was at 12 when I "official" became a woman. Who knew that "special" friend would change the way you looked and felt at least 5 days out of the month! Today as I type my first page I am adding two new memories to my life. The first is being able to break the chains that have consumed me over the years. I have sat back in silence struggling with pain,disappointment and agony. I've been asked over and over again, when are you going to write that book. Well here is the prequel to what's to come. I hope that my pain can heal and strengthen someone who needs it. This is my truth,my journey,my struggle. I just want a release...... I found strength and courage to