In 2009 I was told I would die before they figured out what was wrong with me. 2018 they told me Im lucky to still be here cause this disease should have been taken me out. I realized something over the weekend.I may not have the quality of life I'm accustomed to. But I'm still here. I cried because I wasted time I will never get back. I cried because I have to face reality that I may not be the last one on earth to turn the lights off... Then I had a epiphany. If you know the storm is coming, you prepare, Do what you can while you can. Yesterday I also realized this, I'm not going to fight for you. I gotta fight to live for myself. And when when this cross gets unbearable and I can't carry it anymore,I need people in my life to be at peace and let me go. Nothing is more exhausting on a person who has an incurable disease than to fight for themselves and the people they love. Friday afternoon I had a visit with pain management.During this visit
I have been given so many labels I can open a department store. Yet none of the diagnosis have been properly treated. I have been accused of faking being ill,it being all in my head,and my all time favorite,very complicated. Well my complicated behind has something grandma washin powders cant seem to get rid of! And the nerve that they didn't have the decency to tell me what I had! I'm round here hurting and they got me ready to pull every strand of hair out of my head! I went to the neurologist cause my doctor said there was nothing she could do at this point. Well I went in there and told him the right side of face felt like Novocaine wearing off! He was a little nonchalant. I was admitted into the hospital for testing. It was supposed to be overnight, I went in on Thursday and got out Monday. When I got home I was unable to do anything for myself and I was too embarrassed to ask.I would muster up enough strength to get my baby off to school and home from from school. I star